When Healing Feels Hard — EMDR Roadblocks Guide

A Guide to EMDR Roadblocks

When Healing
Feels Hard

And why every roadblock means you're doing it right

For clients in EMDR therapy — especially those with strong protective parts

Read on

If you have ever sat in a session thinking "nothing is happening," "my mind is too loud to do this," or "I feel like I'm doing it wrong" — this guide is for you.

EMDR is an evidence-based approach to healing trauma, endorsed as a first-line treatment by the WHO, the APA, and the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies. But the parts of you that learned to survive are exactly the parts that may show up to prevent change. This is not failure. This is the therapy working.

What Are "Protector Parts"?

Across multiple therapeutic frameworks — including IFS, ego state therapy, and the Structural Dissociation model — trauma researchers describe the mind as containing different parts. Protector parts are the inner voices or patterns that developed to guard you: by staying busy, numb, skeptical, or in control. They are not your enemy. They are loyal guardians who learned their role during times of real danger. In EMDR, we work with them — because they carry important information about what still needs healing.

Mental & Cognitive Roadblocks

01
Mental & Cognitive

The Analyzing Mind

"I need to understand this first"

What it is

During processing, your mind starts commentating — evaluating whether it's working, planning what to say, or dissecting the memory rather than experiencing it.

Why it happens

This is the analytical protector doing its job. It learned that thinking = safety. As long as you are analyzing, you are not feeling — and for a nervous system that once equated feeling with danger, this is a brilliant, necessary strategy.

You might notice…

  • "Am I doing this right?"
  • Trying to figure out meaning mid-session
  • Narrating instead of experiencing
  • Feeling like you're observing yourself from a distance

How to Think About It

You do not need to understand it for it to work. EMDR processes information at a level below conscious thought — the way your body heals a cut without you supervising the biology. Just notice what is there, and trust the process.

Research Note

The Adaptive Information Processing model explains that EMDR works by activating the brain's innate neurophysiological healing mechanisms — a process that does not require conscious understanding or narrative insight to produce change.

Solomon & Shapiro (2008). EMDR and the AIP Model. Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 2(4), 315–325.

If your mind gets loud mid-session, say: 'My analyzer is here.' We will work with that part directly — it doesn't need to leave, just soften its grip.

02
Mental & Cognitive

Blanking Out

"My mind just goes empty"

What it is

You try to bring up a memory or feeling and find… nothing. A white room. Vague static. The target feels slippery or suddenly unimportant.

Why it happens

This is cognitive avoidance — a protector that uses dissociation or suppression to keep threatening material out of conscious reach. The 'Apparently Normal Part' maintains distance from the 'Emotional Part' to preserve daily functioning.

You might notice…

  • Sudden inability to recall the target memory
  • Mind wandering to completely unrelated topics
  • Feeling strangely calm — almost too calm
  • A blank, foggy, or floaty internal state

How to Think About It

The blankness is information — it is showing you where a protector stands guard. We do not force past it. We get curious: 'What would happen if we got a little closer?' The answer often reveals what truly needs healing.

Research Note

Van der Hart, Nijenhuis & Steele's Structural Dissociation model describes how 'Apparently Normal Parts' are fixated in avoidance of traumatic memories — maintaining this separation as a core survival strategy. EMDR phase-oriented treatment specifically targets these dissociative phobias.

Van der Hart et al. (2014). Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 8(1), 33–48.
03
Mental & Cognitive

Skepticism & Doubt

"This seems too simple to actually work"

What it is

A part of you watches the process with arms crossed. It catalogues what 'should' be happening, consults outside opinions, and reminds you of the investment being made.

Why it happens

The skeptic is a highly intelligent protector — often born from early experiences where hope led to disappointment, or where trusting an adult's process led to harm. Its job is to prevent you from being fooled again.

You might notice…

  • Comparing your experience to others' EMDR stories
  • Researching the therapy to find reasons it won't work
  • Asking 'Are we making progress?' more than feels comfortable
  • Feeling the work is 'too airy' or 'not scientific enough'

How to Think About It

Skepticism is loyalty — to the past self who needed to be careful. You don't need to silence it. Ask it: 'What are you afraid will happen if this actually works?' That answer is usually where the real target lives.

Research Note

A 2024 individual participant data meta-analysis of 14 RCTs found EMDR equivalent in effectiveness to other leading trauma-focused therapies across diverse populations — validating that the approach has a robust scientific foundation. EMDR is recommended as first-line PTSD treatment by the WHO, APA, and VA/DoD.

Wright, Karyotaki, Cuijpers et al. (2024). Psychological Medicine, 54(8), 1580–1588.

Bring your skeptic's questions to session — don't resolve them alone. The skeptic often has the most important things to say.

Emotional & Somatic Roadblocks

04
Emotional & Somatic

Emotional Flooding

"It's too much, I can't go there"

What it is

As processing begins, emotion comes up fast and big — grief, rage, panic, shame — and a part of you slams the brakes. You might shut down, go numb, or need to stop entirely.

Why it happens

Your nervous system learned that these emotions were once unbearable — because you had to face them alone, without adequate support, or at an age when you simply didn't have the capacity to hold them. The overwhelm is a memory, not a forecast.

You might notice…

  • Sudden crying that feels 'too much' or 'out of nowhere'
  • Heart racing, chest tightening, urge to leave
  • Shutting down completely — going flat or numb
  • Intense shame or urge to apologize for having emotions

How to Think About It

You are not reliving the past — you are finally big enough to feel it. The adult you today has resources, a regulated nervous system, and a therapist beside you. This time, you are not alone in the feeling. Titration is always available — we approach the edge, not the center.

Research Note

EMDR's standard protocol requires processing to remain within the 'window of tolerance' — the zone between hyper- and hypo-arousal where integration is possible. For complex trauma, EMDR with ego state and stabilization interventions specifically prevents exceeding clients' integrative capacity.

Van der Hart et al. (2014). Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 8(1), 33–48. Forgash & Knipe (2012). Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 6(3), 120–128.

Use our agreed signal if you need to slow down or stop. There is no 'too much emotion' here — only pace adjustments.

05
Emotional & Somatic

Numbness & Disconnection

"I can't feel anything"

What it is

You try to connect with the target — the memory, the body sensation, the emotion — and find a wall. You feel distant, flat, or like you are describing events that happened to someone else.

Why it happens

This is emotional numbing — one of the most effective protectors ever developed. Dissociation kept you functional when escape wasn't possible. It now keeps the door to stored material firmly closed.

You might notice…

  • Speaking about traumatic events in a flat, detached tone
  • Unable to locate any body sensation
  • Feeling 'behind glass' — present but not really here
  • Believing you 'don't really have trauma' compared to others

How to Think About It

Numbness is not an absence of feeling — it is a feeling that something must be protected at all costs. 'What is this numbness protecting me from knowing?' is often the most productive question in the room.

Research Note

Trauma memories are encoded subcortically — in sensory-motor neural networks inaccessible to purely verbal or cognitive approaches. EMDR's bilateral stimulation is specifically designed to access and integrate these implicit, somatic elements that verbal therapy cannot reach directly.

Van der Kolk (2002). Beyond the talking cure. APA Press. // Shapiro & Laliotis (2017). EMDR therapy and the AIP model.
06
Emotional & Somatic

Physical Resistance

"Body tension, fatigue, or pain"

What it is

Your body participates in the resistance: sudden exhaustion during sessions, headaches afterward, muscle bracing, an urge to fidget or leave, or physical symptoms that appear on session days.

Why it happens

Trauma is stored somatically — in the body's muscle memory, nervous system tone, and physiological threat responses. When the body senses that stored material is about to be accessed, it responds as it did originally: fight, flee, or freeze.

You might notice…

  • Unusual fatigue on session days
  • Tight jaw, shoulders, or stomach during processing
  • Urge to check your phone, reorganize, or leave
  • Physical illness or 'busyness' preventing attendance

How to Think About It

Your body is not betraying you — it is participating. Trembling, heat, tightness releasing — these are signs the nervous system is moving through something it has held for a very long time. The body leads; language follows.

Research Note

A 2021 systematic review of 90 studies found EMDR effective across a wide range of somatic and psychological conditions beyond PTSD — including somatoform disorders, pain, and sleep disturbance — consistent with EMDR's capacity to address trauma encoded in the body, not only in explicit memory.

Scelles & Bulnes (2021). Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 644369.

Always tell me what you notice in your body, even if it seems unrelated. The body leads, and language follows.

Between-Session Roadblocks

07
Between Sessions

The Ripple Effect

"Difficult days after a session"

What it is

You feel worse before you feel better. In the day or two after a session, old emotions surface, sleep is disrupted, vivid dreams appear, or you feel raw and irritable for no obvious reason.

Why it happens

Processing continues after the session ends. The brain is integrating new information, reorganizing old memory networks, and 'filing' material that was previously stuck. This is neurological work — it has a cost, just as physical exercise does.

You might notice…

  • Vivid or unusual dreams in the nights after a session
  • Emotional sensitivity or unexpected crying
  • Old memories or images surfacing spontaneously
  • Feeling temporarily 'worse' and wondering if therapy is helping

How to Think About It

A difficult few days is often a sign that significant material was moved. Keep your journal close, use your stabilization tools, and bring anything that surfaced to the next session. It is all data.

Research Note

Stickgold (2002) proposed that EMDR's bilateral stimulation induces a neurobiological state similar to REM sleep — optimally configured for cortical integration of traumatic memories. This model explains why processing continues between sessions, with dream activity and spontaneous memory shifts as part of the integration process.

Stickgold (2002). Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(1), 61–75. // Stickgold (2008). Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 2(4), 289–299.

Reach out if a post-session ripple feels unmanageable. You are never alone between sessions — that is what our between-session protocol is for.

08
Between Sessions

Outside Voices

"Others' opinions about your therapy"

What it is

People in your life — friends, family, or even other helping professionals — express doubt, offer alternative interpretations of your progress, or suggest that what you are experiencing means the therapy isn't working.

Why it happens

Healing is disruptive to existing systems. When you change, those around you adjust. Some pushback is protective love. Some is the anxiety of others who haven't done their own work. Some comes from genuine but incomplete knowledge.

You might notice…

  • Arriving to sessions having 'pre-processed' feedback from others
  • Feeling an outside opinion carries more authority than your own experience
  • Uncertainty about therapy that appeared after a specific conversation
  • Comparing your process to someone else's therapy experience

How to Think About It

Your healing is not a group decision. The most important authority on your inner experience is you. Other perspectives are data to bring to session, not verdicts to act on alone.

Research Note

The therapeutic alliance — the quality of trust and collaboration between client and therapist — is consistently identified as a key predictor of EMDR outcomes. Outside influences that erode this alliance represent a genuine clinical variable, not a personal failing.

EMDRIA (2024). Recent Research on EMDR Therapy. // Forgash & Knipe (2012). Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 6(3), 120–128.

Bring what others have said to session. We can examine it together — much safer than resolving it alone between sessions.

09
Between Sessions

Wanting It Faster

"Why isn't this fixed yet?"

What it is

Impatience sets in — or frustration, anger, or despair. You have invested time, money, and courage. You expected to feel better by now. The urgency feels unbearable.

Why it happens

Urgency is usually a protector, not a problem. It often carries a younger part's exhaustion — the part that has been in pain for a very long time and is desperately tired of waiting for relief. That part deserves to be heard, not managed.

You might notice…

  • Feeling that progress is 'too slow' compared to expectations
  • Wanting to skip stabilization and go straight to reprocessing
  • Researching how to 'speed up' EMDR between sessions
  • Considering stopping therapy just as deeper material begins to emerge

How to Think About It

Complex trauma was not built in a day. The urgency you feel is valid and important — it tells us how much you have been carrying. But the pace of healing is not about speed; it is about depth. And depth takes time.

Research Note

For complex PTSD with dissociative features, phase-oriented treatment — including an extended stabilization phase before trauma reprocessing — is specifically recommended to prevent destabilization. Rushing the preparation phase is associated with poor outcomes and therapy dropout.

Van der Hart et al. (2014). Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 8(1), 33–48. // Hofman et al. (2022). Trials, 23, 195.

When urgency is high, we slow down rather than speed up. The part that wants it faster usually needs the most attention right now.

When a Roadblock Appears

Tools to stay resourced without forcing through resistance

Safe / Calm Place

Activates a mental resource anchor to regulate the nervous system.

Use when: overwhelmed, flooding, before or after sessions
📦

Container Exercise

Mentally stores material that is too big for right now, until your next session.

Use when: between-session intrusions, nighttime distress
🌿

Grounding (5-4-3-2-1)

Brings attention to present sensory experience to reduce dissociation.

Use when: blanking out, disconnection, post-session float

Journaling

Externalizes processing without forcing resolution.

Use when: after sessions, when material surfaces spontaneously
🤲

Self-Bilateral Tapping

Light alternating knee or shoulder taps for gentle integration.

Use when: mild distress — ask therapist before using independently

Contact Your Therapist

Direct support for anything that feels unmanageable between sessions.

Use when: any time — you are not alone in this process

You are not broken.
You are protected.

Resistance is not failure — it is the therapy doing its job.
Every protector part has a reason for being here. None of them need to be destroyed.
You do not have to understand healing for healing to happen.
The pace of your process is the right pace for your nervous system.
And protection can be gently, safely released.

EMDR Client Psychoeducation Guide · Protector Parts & Common Roadblocks · Research-Informed Edition
For use in conjunction with individual therapy · Not a substitute for clinical guidance