Understanding EMDR — in plain language
What it is, what happens in each phase, how to know if you're ready, and what it means if part of you wants to protect you from the process.
The Core Idea
Your mind has a mainland — and some experiences got stranded on an island
Before we explain EMDR phase by phase, here is the one idea that makes everything else make sense.
The 8 Phases of EMDR
What happens, and why, in each phase
EMDR follows a structured eight-phase protocol. Each phase has a specific purpose — none are skipped, and none are rushed. Here is what each one involves, in plain language.
History Taking & Treatment Planning
Your therapist gets to know you — your current symptoms, your history, what brings you here, and what you want to change. You are not required to recount difficult experiences in detail at this stage. The goal is to understand the landscape, not excavate it.
Together, you and your therapist will identify which experiences may be connected to your current difficulties. These become potential targets for processing later.
Preparation & Resourcing
Before any reprocessing begins, your therapist will teach you grounding and stabilisation techniques. These give you a reliable way to come back to calm if processing feels overwhelming. This phase is not a formality — it is an essential part of the treatment.
You may also develop what is called a "safe place" or "calm place" — an internal resource you can return to at any point during or between sessions.
Mostly conversational. Some clients feel impatient to "start." Your therapist is starting — this is the foundation that makes the rest possible.
Assessment — Identifying the Target
Your therapist will help you identify a specific target to work with. This might be a memory, an image, a physical sensation, or a belief about yourself that feels connected to your distress.
You will be asked to identify the negative belief the experience left you with (e.g. "I am not safe," "I am to blame," "I am not enough") and the positive belief you would prefer to hold instead. You will also notice where you feel the distress in your body.
Some clients find it surprisingly difficult to name a positive belief that feels true — that is completely normal. You don't have to believe it yet. You just need to identify what you would want to believe.
Desensitisation — Reprocessing the Memory
This is the phase most people associate with EMDR. While holding the target in mind — the image, the belief, the body sensation — you follow your therapist's bilateral stimulation: finger movements, tapping, or sounds alternating left and right.
After each set of 20–40 seconds, your therapist asks simply: "What do you notice?" You follow whatever comes up — an image, a thought, an emotion, a body sensation, nothing at all. You do not direct it. You observe.
The distress associated with the memory typically reduces across sets — not by suppressing it, but because the brain is finally completing the processing it began and couldn't finish.
Variable. Some clients feel emotional intensity that moves and shifts. Some feel surprisingly detached — like watching something from a distance. Some feel physical sensations — heat, heaviness, release. Some notice nothing for several sets, then something shifts. All of these are within the range of normal.
Installation — Strengthening the Positive Belief
Once the distress associated with the target has reduced, your therapist will help you strengthen the positive belief you identified in Phase 3. Using further sets of bilateral stimulation, you hold both the original memory and the positive belief together — and notice how true the positive belief now feels.
Many clients describe a quiet sense of integration — the memory is still there, but something has settled. The positive belief begins to feel genuinely available rather than aspirational.
Body Scan — Checking for Residual Distress
Your therapist will ask you to bring the original memory to mind and scan your body from head to toe, noticing any remaining tension, discomfort, or activation. If anything remains, it is processed further before the session closes.
This phase reflects one of EMDR's key principles: that fully processed memories should feel clear not only cognitively, but in the body as well.
Closure — Ending the Session Safely
Every EMDR session ends with a closing exercise — a grounding or containment technique that helps you leave the session feeling stable, regardless of how much was processed. Processing can continue between sessions, and your therapist will prepare you for this.
You may be asked to keep a brief journal of any images, thoughts, or feelings that arise between sessions — not to analyse them, but simply to note them so they can be addressed at the next session.
Some clients feel lighter immediately. Some feel tired, emotional, or notice old memories surfacing in the days following. This is a normal part of ongoing processing — not a sign that something has gone wrong.
Re-evaluation — Beginning of Every Subsequent Session
Every session after the first begins with re-evaluation: checking in on what was processed last time, what emerged between sessions, and whether the gains have held. This is also when new targets are identified and prioritised.
EMDR is not linear. Sometimes processing one memory opens a connected memory that needs attention. The re-evaluation phase ensures the therapist and client are always working with what is most current and relevant.
Readiness Checklist
Am I ready to begin EMDR?
Readiness for EMDR is not about how severe your symptoms are — it is about your current capacity to engage with the process. Work through the statements below honestly.
How to use this checklist: Check every statement that is genuinely true for you right now. This is not a pass/fail test — it is a conversation starter for your therapist. The result at the bottom will give you a sense of where you stand.
- I am not currently in crisis — my day-to-day life has enough stability to support a therapy process
- I have at least one person in my life I trust, or I feel safe enough to reach out for support between sessions if needed
- I am not currently using substances in a way that would interfere with emotional processing
- Any significant medical conditions are being managed and I have informed my therapist about them
- I am willing to notice uncomfortable feelings without immediately needing them to stop
- I can stay present in a conversation even when it touches on difficult topics — I don't fully dissociate or lose awareness of where I am
- I understand that some distress during processing is part of the process, not a sign something is wrong
- I am able to communicate during sessions — to say if something feels too much, or if I need to pause
- I want to change, not just to understand — I am looking for relief, not only insight
- I can commit to attending sessions regularly enough to allow continuity of processing
- I am willing to be honest with my therapist, including when something isn't working or feels wrong
When Part of You Wants to Protect You
Understanding protective parts during reprocessing
Sometimes, as EMDR processing begins, something inside pulls back. This is not resistance. It is protection — and it deserves to be understood, not overridden.
Every person develops protective responses to difficult experiences. These are not character flaws or obstacles — they are adaptations that kept you safe, or helped you function, at a time when you needed them. When EMDR begins to approach material that has been protected for a long time, those protective parts may emerge — sometimes loudly, sometimes quietly.
Signs a protective part may be active
- Suddenly feeling blank, numb, or "switched off" during processing — as if a wall has come down
- An urge to change the subject, make a joke, or intellectualise what's happening rather than feel it
- Unexpected drowsiness or difficulty staying present during a session
- A sense of "I don't want to go there" without being able to explain why
- A sudden surge of emotion — anger, panic, or distress — that feels designed to move away from rather than into the target
- Inner voices or feelings that say things like "this won't work," "this isn't safe," or "we shouldn't be doing this"
What happens when a protective part emerges
🤝 Your therapist will not push through it
A protective part emerging is not a problem to overcome. Your therapist will slow down, acknowledge what is happening, and work with the part — not against it.
🗣️ The part may be invited to speak
Rather than bypassing the protective part, your therapist may gently turn toward it — asking what it is worried about, what it is trying to prevent, what it needs in order to feel safe enough to allow processing to continue.
🌿 The part's job is acknowledged
Whatever the protective part has been doing — avoiding, numbing, distracting — it has been doing that for a reason. Naming and honouring that reason often reduces the part's need to intervene as forcefully.
⏸️ The pace adjusts
Sometimes the most important thing is to slow down, return to stabilisation, and let the protective part see that the therapy space is safe before processing continues. This is not failure — it is attunement.
If protective parts appear consistently — other approaches that may help
For some people, protective parts are so active during early reprocessing that a period of dedicated work with those parts — before or alongside EMDR — makes the process safer and more effective. Your therapist may suggest one of the following:
Working directly with protective parts
Before reprocessing targets, spending time getting to know the protective parts — understanding their function, building relationship with them, and earning their permission — can significantly reduce interference during EMDR.
Extended preparation phase
Spending additional sessions in Phase 2 — building resources, practising grounding, and strengthening your internal sense of safety — before any reprocessing begins. Some clients need weeks or months here, and that is appropriate.
Smaller targets first
Beginning with less charged or more contained material — sometimes called EMD (Eye Movement Desensitisation only, without the full reprocessing protocol) — to build the protective parts' trust in the process gradually.
Body-based stabilisation
Incorporating body-based regulation techniques — breathwork, movement, sensorimotor approaches — to help the nervous system build capacity for the activation that processing involves, before engaging with the memory directly.
Olena Pkhaladze Psychotherapy Centre
olenapkh.therapy@gmail.com
www.olenapkhaladze.com
+1-365-536-2103