"Successful relationships are not about avoiding conflict but about knowing how to navigate through it with love and respect." – Dr. John Gottman
Core Principles of the Gottman Method
The Gottman Method is a scientifically-backed approach to couples therapy developed by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. It is grounded in over four decades of research on relationships and is designed to improve communication, strengthen emotional connection, and build lasting trust and intimacy between partners.
Build Love Maps
Principle 1
Love Maps refer to the deep understanding of your partner's world. Partners learn to ask open-ended questions and listen actively to strengthen their knowledge about each other's feelings, values, and life events.
Share Fondness and Admiration
Principle 2
This principle focuses on fostering a culture of appreciation, affection, and respect within the relationship. Expressing gratitude and admiration helps reinforce positive feelings.
Turn Towards Instead of Away
Principle 3
Partners are encouraged to respond positively to each other's bids for attention and connection, which builds emotional intimacy and trust.
Manage Conflict Effectively
Principle 4
Conflict is inevitable, but the Gottman Method teaches couples how to approach disagreements constructively. This includes:
Soften Start-Up: Beginning discussions gently without blame or criticism.
Repair Attempts: Using humor, apologies, or affection to de-escalate tension.
Self-Soothing: Taking a break to calm down if emotions become overwhelming.
Make Life Dreams Come True
Principle 5
The method encourages partners to share their aspirations and support each other's dreams, fostering a sense of shared purpose and meaning.
Create Shared Meaning
Principle 6
Couples build rituals, traditions, and goals that reflect their shared values and strengthen their connection.
Trust and Commitment
Principle 7
Trust is built by ensuring actions align with words, while commitment is reinforced through consistent efforts to prioritize the relationship.
Techniques and Tools in the Gottman Method
Our experienced therapists provide personalized support to help couples navigate challenges and strengthen their bond.
The Sound Relationship House Model:
This visual framework helps couples understand the key components of a strong relationship and identify areas for growth.
Love Maps Exercises:
Activities designed to help partners explore and expand their understanding of each other's inner world.
Conflict Management Strategies:
Tools for navigating disagreements while maintaining respect and empathy.
Affection Building Practices:
Techniques to strengthen fondness, admiration, and physical intimacy.
Stress-Reducing Conversations:
A structured way to discuss external stressors without allowing them to impact the relationship negatively.
Who Can Benefit from the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is suitable for couples at all stages of their relationship, whether they are:
Newlyweds looking to build a strong foundation.
Long-term partners seeking to rekindle intimacy.
Couples facing specific challenges such as infidelity, parenting conflicts, or communication breakdowns.
Those in high-stress situations, including blended families or caregiving roles
Three Good Reasons to Choose the Gottman Method
Evidence-Based
Developed from extensive research on what makes relationships thrive or fail.
Practical
Offers actionable strategies and tools that couples can implement in their daily lives.
Holistic
Focuses on emotional, physical, and intellectual aspects of a relationship.
"Trust is built in very small moments, one connection at a time." – Dr. John Gottman
Next Steps
If you’re interested in exploring the Gottman Method for your relationship, schedule a consultation to discuss how this approach can be tailored to your unique needs and goals.